Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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