yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
