you would pick up someone in the library
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
