I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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