I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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