I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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