Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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