suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
