David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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