I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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