New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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