Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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