So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I could fuck to npr.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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