I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
