Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize