this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize