Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
