Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
