Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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