how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
