don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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