This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
