What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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