Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
