They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
