We're like a lot better than the average bears
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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