She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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