It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
