i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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