Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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