I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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