see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
