One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
