didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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