dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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