Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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