please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
