Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
