Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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