You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
