how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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