We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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