i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
