if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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