I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
