It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
