they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
