Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
