On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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