TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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