5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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