I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
