garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
