Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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