it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
