it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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