Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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