She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
