god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
