how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Barsexuality is the new black.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I would fuck him just for his dog
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
