Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize