How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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