My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
