Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
