the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
