carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
